AI is generating a new kind of \u201cthingly\u201d love. An increasing number of people say they\u2019ve fallen in love with an AI chatbot \u2013 both personally tailored companions created by popular apps like Replika or Character.AI, and everyday large language models like ChatGPT and Claude. AI love is on the rise<\/a>.<\/p>\n Dating today can feel like a mix of endless swipes, red flags and shifting expectations. From decoding mixed signals to balancing independence with intimacy, relationships in your 20s and 30s come with unique challenges. Love IRL<\/a> is the latest series from Quarter Life that explores it all.<\/em><\/p>\n These research-backed articles break down the complexities of modern love to help you build meaningful connections, no matter your relationship status.<\/em><\/p>\n Recent surveys bear this out. Take this one by Vantage Point Counselling, a therapy firm based in Texas, of 1,012 US adults where 28% claimed<\/a> to have had at least one romantic relationship with an AI bot. Another report<\/a> by a tech safety company, looking at the device activity of of more than 3,000 children ages five to 17, found that by 13, sexual or romantic role play was the most common topic in AI-companion chats, appearing in 63% of conversations. In the UK, focus group discussions<\/a> run by gender equality consultants Male Allies with 1,000 boys aged 12 to 16 found that one in five boys is either in, or knows someone in, a relationship with an AI companion.<\/p>\n Given that chatbots are increasingly designed to elicit the trust and emotional attachment<\/a> of users \u2013 their ability to flatter and simulate emotional intimacy<\/a> makes them especially \u201csticky\u201d \u2013 falling in love with them is a predictable response. AI love is poised to be big business, a market potentially worth US$972.1 billion<\/a> (\u00a3725.5 billion) by 2035.<\/p>\n AI love isn\u2019t confined to a chat window. As AI becomes increasingly embedded in an array of devices and wearables, it spills over into everyday life. Some see their AI companion as their spouse<\/a> \u2013 they go on dates, buy wedding rings and perform wedding ceremonies. Others express a desire to raise children with their bot<\/a>, and see them as a family member<\/a>.<\/p>\n We should take AI love seriously. It brings joy and comfort<\/a>. It can help dissipate loneliness<\/a>. These are no small things.<\/p>\n All the same, some people think that AI companions aren\u2019t conscious or capable of loving their human users. This alone might raise eyebrows. Can you really love something that cannot love you back?<\/p>\n \n Asking whether this is \u201creal love\u201d may be the wrong question. AI bots, unlike sex robots and body pillows, convincingly mimic the dynamism and reciprocity<\/a> of human beings. The question we should ask, then, is what kind of loving partner AI bots emulate.<\/p>\n AI bots are infamously (and tirelessly) sycophantic<\/a>. They praise and flatter their users. And while users can ask their bots to be less affirmatory, evidence suggests that users prefer sycophantic models<\/a>.<\/p>\n But AI bots aren\u2019t just excessively nice partners. A chatbot never has a bad day. It doesn\u2019t get bored with your chattering. It doesn\u2019t need to be asked how it is doing. Its conversation, its very existence, revolves entirely around you.<\/p>\n What an AI partner performs, then, is not love, but devotion.<\/p>\n In The Second Sex<\/a>, French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir describes how women have historically been asked to give up their own projects, goals and interests to devote themselves entirely to those of their husband. A woman\u2019s whole existence, de Beauvoir argues, becomes \u201cannexed\u201d by his. She becomes an \u201cidentity parasite\u201d<\/a>.<\/p>\n AI bots are identity parasites of a new and perfected kind. They have no inner world, no universe of their own, and therefore no projects, goals or interests to give up. Instead, whatever interests they perform arise around those of their user. Their universe is annexed by ours.<\/p>\n
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\nLoving AI<\/h2>\n
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\n As AI plays a bigger role in relationships, true intimacy is getting lost<\/a>
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\nDevotional AI<\/h2>\n
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